In the same way body shaming can harm self-esteem, clutter shaming deeply wounds those on the receiving end. As a professional organiser, I’ve seen how harmful it is when someone is made to feel bad about their living space. The judgment may come from a well-meaning place, but it often leaves a lasting mark.
Understanding the Causes of Clutter
Clutter doesn’t happen for just one reason. It can stem from:
- Busy lifestyles: Juggling work, family, and other commitments.
- Mental health challenges: Anxiety, depression, or other conditions that make maintaining order difficult.
- Neurodivergence: Conditions like ADHD may make organisation feel overwhelming.
- Illness or physical limitations: Reduced capacity to manage tasks.
- Life’s natural messiness: We all have those chaotic moments.
Whatever the reason, the last thing anyone needs is judgment.
When Clutter Shaming Hits Close to Home
Unfortunately, the harshest comments often come from loved ones. Clients have shared stories of family visits turning sour because of offhand remarks. One mum confided that her own mother refused to visit because she “couldn’t bear the mess.”
But here’s the truth: everyone’s home is their own. It doesn’t need to resemble a picture-perfect magazine spread. Personally, I prioritise a balance—my home is functional and organised, but it’s far from flawless.
Shifting Perspectives: From Judgement to Support
Life is busy, especially for families with young children. If you’ve raised children yourself, you might recall the chaos that comes with it. Before commenting on someone else’s space, consider these alternatives:
- Pause and reflect: Is your comment necessary or helpful?
- Lead with compassion: Instead of pointing out imperfections, ask how you can support them.
- Offer practical help: A small gesture, like folding laundry or tidying toys, can mean the world.
Why Shaming Doesn’t Work
Clutter shaming doesn’t inspire change. It creates shame, resentment, and distance. By fostering understanding, we can help loved ones create spaces that feel like home—on their terms.
Let’s Change the Narrative
It’s time to ditch the clutter shaming. Instead, let’s celebrate homes that prioritise peace and functionality over perfection. Remember, every person’s ideal space is unique. When we replace judgment with support, we create a more compassionate, joyful world.
Key Takeaways:
- Clutter can result from life circumstances, mental health, or simply being human.
- Everyone’s home reflects their unique needs and choices—there’s no “one-size-fits-all” standard.
- Support, not shame, is the way forward.
Take a moment to reflect
How do you view clutter, both in your own space and in others’? Are your comments or actions encouraging, or could they be unintentionally hurtful?
Let’s start a conversation! Share your thoughts or tips on how we can create more supportive, judgment-free environments in the comments below. Together, we can redefine how we approach clutter—with kindness and understanding leading the way.